Thoughts on Fatherhood: Nine Weeks Into It
Wesley is more interactive than ever. He’s more full of smiles and coos everyday. I love this kid. He’s only 9 weeks old, but I think he’s awesome. I can’t wait til his sleep laughter turns into laughing while he’s awake. Wesley does it all the time.
We do tummy time a few times a day now. He isn’t usually a fan, but he’s super happy when it’s over and I pick him up. Part of his frustration is how heavy his head is in comparison to the rest of his peanut sized body. Every time he lifts his head up (if not supported with his arms) his feet fly up and he face-plants. Don’t worry, he’s only an inch or two off the ground when it happens so he’s not hurt.
The times we bond most are on Saturday mornings and the various evenings during the week that Abigail goes to dance class. Saturday mornings are a few hours at a time, but mommy is only a room away. If he gets hungry she’s there. Nights that she goes away are little different. She’s never gone for more than two hours so when he gets fussy it isn’t for long. He usually falls asleep while she’s gone at the evening classes and I just holding him while rocking in our glider.
I’m much more comfortable as a dad now than I was that first week. Holding Wesley is now second nature to me. Changing diapers in public restrooms doesn’t frighten me like it used to either. I’ve also not had anyone insult me while holding my son again either. I love it when he smiles at me. All the sleep deprivation, messy diaper changes and lack of productive time at home don’t bother me anymore. In that moment I am only thinking about how happy a father I am to see my son content.
This kid has a personality. It is showing up more and more. I love being able to tell the difference between a hungry cry, a sleepy cry, an “I need changing” cry and so on. I’m not sure if those cries have changed as he’s began to express himself, or if I’m finally catching on to his only means of vocal communication. Wesley does this “Knock ’em out” pose that’s pretty funny too:
Mr. Dude got his shots this past week at his two month check-up. We decided it was the right thing to do for us because of our constant interaction in the public and the trips we take. Once Abigail goes back to work as a flight attendant (if this furlough ends and isn’t extended again) she’ll be exposed to all sort of germs we want Wesley protected from. He was pretty snuggly and a sad after getting the shots. Then his happy smile came. It was easy to tell when he started to feel better:
I’m still pretty nervous about making sure the kiddo is safe. I am constantly checking his breathing when he’s sleeping. I get worked up when he cries and I can’t immediately pinpoint what’s wrong. “Oh my God, he’s dying.” may or may not cross my mind once or twice a day when he turns red in the face because of… X, Y, or is it Z? He’s always fine and usually just sleepy or wants mommy when that happens. That feeling should go away eventually right? Who am I kidding? That paranoia is a constant part of parenthood. I’m stuck with it.
He is gaining weight and getting taller. He’s even starting to get a little hair on top of his head again. Soon, no more Mr. Bald Baby! (Hey, a guy can hope. He is a cute little cue ball though.) The ups and downs of fatherhood have been interesting, but not too intense so far. I’m 63 days in to this and LOVE it. Can’t wait to see what’s next!