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HomeThoughtsExpectations of Fatherhood: Looking Back Over the Last Several Years

Expectations of Fatherhood: Looking Back Over the Last Several Years

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My oldest recently turned nine years old. He’s a bright and creative child with persistent unending energy for days. He loves reading, coding, and video games.

My youngest turned five a few months ago. He’s entertaining, communicative, and inquisitive. He loves outdoor play, building with blocks, and loves food.

They are each a constant source of inspiration, frustration, and joy.

I didn’t know what to expect before this parenting journey started. I felt like it did, but I really had no idea.

The parenting dynamic in our home is atypical of many others in our circles. My wife is the breadwinner of the family while I am the primary caregiver and homemaker.

There are moments when fatherhood is exactly what I expected and hoped it would be at this point in my life. The times when I feel like I genuinely connect with my sons in some sort of verbal interaction or playing out in the yard.

Wesley (my oldest) is constantly asking questions about the meaning of life, the why of how governmental systems are the way they are, and how geopolitical conflicts get resolved.

I often have opinions on things. Many times my answers have to be backed up with a Google search and some sort of trustworthy reference. I love this about him. He trusts me but wants to verify what I tell him too. Had I done this when I was younger my life would have been very different.

Theodore (my youngest) has opinions on everything. Sometimes they make complete sense. Other times he connects two completely unrelated things as cause-and-effect and it makes me chuckle.

The amount of physical and emotional energy required to be an involved and caring parent is much higher than I expected it would be at this point.

I used to judge my parents for being “addicted to coffee” when I was in elementary school, but now understand it to be a necessity.

These little humans need constant attention, validation, encouragement, and guidance. It is simultaneously rewarding and exhausting.

My mom says “Parenthood isn’t for everyone.” She’s right. It might not be right for everyone, but it is right for me.

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